agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. musings
***OBVIOUS SPOILER ANNOUNCEMENT! Like everything else I've watched and written about, I'm about to spoil the shit out of it. If you do not want to be spoiled then watch the fucking show and stop being a little pussy bitch. Or don't read this, I guess that's an option too. But it's a less cool option. Also, SPOILERS for Marvel movies, but lets be real, who hasn't seen those?***
For whatever reason, I don't think a lot of my friends watch this show which I don't understand why because my friends are all a bunch of fucking nerds and this is right up their alley. Of course I watch it, it's a Joss Whedon show and everyone knows I would follow that man to the ends of the earth, and this show is no different. Sure, he's not the showrunner per se but he's involved and that is ENOUGH FOR ME. Also, I apologize that this is pretty lengthy. I had a lot of thoughts, okay guys? It's Joss Whedon.
P.S. I wrote a little ditty back on the Daredevil post about my feelings about comic books and their TV counterparts and their authenticity, but if you didn't read it or don't remember it, here's the gist. I do not give two flying fucks if this TV show is close to any of the comic books. There's all kinds of characters on the show who are apparently super hero-y people-y thingys (Daisy? She's someone. Same thing with Bobbi. Who are they? Fuck if I know.) and there's all kinds of obscure references that nerds probably would love but I don't even catch them. And guess what? I just don't fucking care. (Though full disclosure, I've totally watched this show in order with the movies (some of them fall in place during the season, Thor: Dark World and Captain America: Winter Soldier) and it's pretty fucking cool.)
The show starts off a little cheesy and I think that's what throws people off. I know it did for me. I watched the first two episodes and was like "Meh. *shrugs shoulders and rewatches Firefly for the zillionth time*" Once season 1 came onto Netflix, I hunkered down and finally watched it all and I'm so glad I did. Sometimes season 1 can rely heavily on Avengers/Marvel world, with throwbacks to Asgaard, cameos by Samuel L Jackson and Robin Scherbatsky, and constant callbacks to the Marvel movies and it's just... distracting. (Woof, there's even a Stan Lee cameo. Pass.) Yes, we get it. Avengers was a great, wildly successful movie but there's all these moments where the show's winking at the audience ("An 084? Last one I saw........was a hammer. *nudge nudge* *OMG HE MEANS THOR WOW KOOL*) and it's annoying. (Okay, I did like one very subtle callback. Skye looking at the wall of fallen S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and just casually mentions "Bucky Barnes" before Winter Soldier even came out, slick dudes.) So in the beginning of the first season, between the cheesy episodes (Norwegian Paganist hate group....oh God, did I really just type that?), overly Marvel-y ones (Lady Sif and some Lorelei bitch throwing some serious, in your face women empowerment shit that even I was like, "K guys, we get it, chill?") and so much techy-science-y jargon I started being worried my face was gonna get stuck in some Liz Lemon over the top eye roll as seen here:
So I just spent a bunch of time complaining about this show and the nerds that watch it that you are probably like WTF Colleen? Do you even like it? (Obviously I do. Remember: Joss Whedon.) Besides the slow start to the first season, this show fucking kicks ass. About halfway through the season, earlier episodes that seemed like one-offs start clicking into place and a larger story arc starts to take shape. I love shit like that. It gives me confidence in the writers when all the little bits start coming together. That's why I love Joss. He's such a talented storyteller, him and his team. The very best part of the first season are the episodes that take place before, during, and after the events of Winter Soldier, which if anyone knows me knows that is my favorite Marvel movie (THE ELEVATOR!) so DUH those are my favorite episodes as well. The betrayal of Hydra hiding within S.H.I.E.L.D. is really felt here because we've spent 16 hours with these characters, walked around in their shoes, lived their lives. This is our betrayal too. So when the guest star (which I should've known it was going to be him but I didn't) Bill Paxton is revealed as Hydra, I loved it. When hunky-hunky, seal team 6, over the top, super duper spy team member Grant Ward is also revealed as Hydra, I FUCKING CHEERED! THAT was awesome! And in the following seasons, they never backtracked on Ward which most shows would. You need that white leading man jaw line to be with *insert girl main character here*. Ward stays and remains not a good dude. Though out of all the terrible things he does over the course of 3 seasons, his worst crime IS FUCKING KILLING PATTON OSWALT (don't worry guys Oswalt comes back, as his brother? His clone? They never really explain. I like to think that the writers were sitting in a room and were like "we need to bring Patton Oswalt back" and then they write the new character and were like how do we explain this? And then they were like, "Fuck it. We don't have to explain shit." I honestly hope we never find out. We don't need to know everything all the time, let's enjoy a little fucking mystery guys.). That was the worst thing Ward did, or, okay, maybe the shit with Bobbi at the end of season 2. That was pretty fucking gross.
There are some awesome callbacks though to other parts of the Whedonverse and unlike the Marvel callbacks, these I LoOoOoOoOove! There's a few Ron Glass (Shepherd Book) sightings (which one day I will share my Whedonverse "it's all connected" theory with y'all but today is not that day), Fred/Whiskey/Dr. Saunders is the heartbreaking and beautiful cellist and as if that wasn't enough, we have Mike Petersen aka Deathlok aka Charles Gunn from Angel *insert heart eye emoji here* and sympathetic villain Priya (her Dollhouse name, her AoS name is something Chinese and yall know I don't know Chinese) is Skye's mom! *insert two heart eye emojis here*. One of my favorite Whedonverse references though isn't an actor, it's the call and response "Did I fall asleep?" "For a little while." from Dollhouse (and it fits nicely in my IT'S ALL CONNECTED theory) from Coulson's memories of Tahiti (or rather T.A.H.I.T.I. They sure do love their fucking acronyms, don't they?). That show Dollhouse is seriously underrated but alas! Another song for another day.
So one of the best things of this show are the villains. They are fun, scary, duplicitous and multifaceted. Bill Paxton was great as the double agent Hydra big bad (to use a Buffy term) in season 1. He was funny and creepy and did crazy well (he punched through a guy, ripped out a rib and then beat the man to death with it WTF, how could I love him more?) but the real take away from season 1 was Grant Ward. I know I've talked about him a little bit ago but he really is a fantastic villain. He's manipulative and self serving, which makes him very unpredictable and fun to watch. Dr. Whitehall is another fun villain (played by Reed Diamond, another Whedonverse alum!), with his rolling monologues, brainwashing, and German accent, as you all know criminals often have. Kyle MacLachlan's Calvin, Skye's hell bent father with some hulk like anger issues and a desperate need for revenge, leaves an impressive and gory trail of bodies in his wake and you equal parts want him to finally get his revenge but also NOOOOO! And despite all the terrorism and murder he commits, at the end when his mind is wiped, like a regular ol Donna, of all the incredible things he's encountered and endured, it's very bittersweet.
You know it's not a Colleen blog post if I don't go on and on about some bad bitches. And thankfully this show is filled to the brim with them. Melinda May (BTW fun fact: the actress who plays May also was the voice of Mulan), Skye, BOBBI (capslock intended), Simmons, Raina, Agent 33, for better or for worse, these bitches be bad. I like how the show is constantly putting women in power and not as figureheads or eye candy but as actual fucking people with actual fucking power. Simmons is just as smart and cunning as Fitz, Melinda is just as much as force to be reckon with as Ward, and everyone knows that Bobbi could destroy Hunter without so much as breaking a sweat. Simmons has a spectacular moment with Ward, after he drops her in the bottom of the ocean, she's understandably pissed the fuck off. She makes him a promise "Hey mother fucker, next time I see you I'ma put some lead so far in your fucking brain that no amount of my techno-science gibberish will bring your sorry ass back to life" (she really said: "next time I see you, I'll kill you" but she's British so that's what it translates to in American) but sweet little Simmons-pie doesn't get to deliver her vigilante justice (that honor goes to a rage filled Coulson with a chest crushing on a planet in another solar system, I fucking love this show) but she certainly does try with a disintegrating grenade. Raina is a great complex character, she's neither a hero nor a villain though I suppose she's more villain than hero. She's resourceful and selfish, manipulative and convincing and has a very unsettling nickname (Girl in the flower dress? Sounds so innocent, like she would never use people as pawns to get to an underground alien city where she would become a hedgehog woman with visions of the future. Jesus this show is great). Bobbie is one of my favorite, FAVORITE characters (I can't talk about her and Hunter's spy send off without getting verklempt, come back Bobbi!!), one because she's played by Tyra from FNL and I fucking love Tyra, and two because she uses these baton things and I get fucking AMPED whenever she brings them out. Anyways so one of my favorite/most bad ass/dark moments of Bobbi's is when Agent 33 is torturing her because Bobbi turned over Agent 33 as an asset when she was undercover at Hydra (fun fact: Agent 33 says the line "I will stand with Ward" which is the hashtag, #StandWithWard, that fucking delusional fangirls use thinking that Ward is actually a good guy and can be redeemed. LOL they dummmb!). Agent 33 is reasonably hacked off, I mean girlfriend was tortured for months by Hydra and then brainwashed and then on top of that had half her face electrocuted off, so as much as I love Bobbi, I'm all you're not wrong Agent 33. But Bobbi, with fucking needles under her nails, is like "whatev bitch, I'd do it again and I'ma never say sorry cause you're a little pussy bitch" and then attempts to fight her way out. She's overtaken by both Ward and 33 and they are about to kill her and they are like this bitch is craycray, she don't give a FUCK if we put 2 in her brain, so maybe we should like figure out something even more ruthless. They set up some whackadoodle gun timer to go off when someone opens the door and tie up my little Bobbi-baby so she has to watch her lover die in front of her. But this is Bobbi and she's like NOOOOOO and takes the goddamn bullet for him like the boss bitch she is. Skye/Daisy is probably the most contentious of the lady badasses because of her annoying hacker nonsense at the beginning of season 1. Eventually the writers calm their shit and realize that even though she is a surrogate for the audience, she doesn't have to be some insufferable little twat. Once Skye/Daisy actually starts working for S.H.I.E.L.D. and training and actually being part of the team, she finally embraces her inner bad bitchness and isn't fucking terrible to watch. Honestly, the writers probably just couldn't turn off the awesomeness of the actress that plays her so they had to incorporate it and so that's how Skye/Daisy evolves into a mother fucking earthquaking dream. For example, the actress Chloe Bennet did this shit, all in one take, and she fractured her elbow in two places while doing it (*bows down* We're not worthy! We're not worthy!):
Also just watch Melinda May fight Grant Ward if only for the line "you were never on top" #Slay:
Despite this show having crazy, impractical spy gadgets and kung fu theatrics, ridiculous science/techno/hacker jargon, and people with superhero powers, it's grounded in it's authenticity to its relationships, storylines, and character development. I mean, don't get me wrong. I love me some fucking batshit craziness, but that love for nonsense burns fast and it cannot make me commit to a show long term. I need organic stories and character arcs. The storyline is outrageous sure, but there's a cause and a effect. T.A.H.I.T.I leads to Hydra/deathlok, which leads to the alien drawing shit, which leads to the underground alien city, which leads to the inhumans which leads to that foreign planet place, which leads to the ATCU, and the new version of Grant Ward. There are consequences for actions, AoS never shies away from that. Injuries last, relationships fracture, and new alliances are created. One heartbreaking instance of this is the relationship between Fitz and Simmons. They were best friends for years throughout the academy, little annoying chirping British birds smarter than everyone in the room/planet, and somewhere along the line Fitz falls for Simmons (my personal opinion, he realizes it season 1 episode 6) but he can't tell her because how do you tell your best friend that? Well eventually they are down at the bottom of the fucking ocean because of Grant fucking Ward and they figured out a way to break out but there's only enough oxygen for one of them. Fitz is like "listen you beautiful bitch, I love you, I've always loved you, you my ride or die but this time its ride for you and die for me. PEACE" (Actually it was- Simmons "You're my best friend!" Fitz "Yeah and you're more than that to me. I couldn't find the courage to tell you, so let me show you." *gives her the oxygen, blasts out the window* I translated it from British/Scottish to American for yall, you're welcome!) Fitz makes it out alive but not without repercussions. He was without oxygen for several minutes so his big beautiful brain was like guess I'm not needed anymore, and started to die off. So Fitz is alive but he's a fraction of himself. Between that and the fact that he declared his undying love for her while actually sacrificing himself, there's tension between them- embarrassment, resentment for feeling abandoned, and just all around hurt feelings. Simmons doesn't know what to say and Fitz is like please don't say anything because I want to crawl in a hole and die all over again. It's so realistic, I mean I'm not a super genius with like 3000 PhDs but I have told someone I cared about them and had them be like nah bro and still have to see them day in and day out. It's pretty fucking brutal, it takes almost the entire second season for us to get Fitz and Simmons back and because it's Joss Whedon's fucking show, nothing gold will ever fucking stay and life is dark and meaningless and I fucking hate it and love it in equal parts.
Another interesting relationship on the show is Skye and Coulson, and I'm only calling her Skye because Coulson can't fucking remember to call her Daisy (though if you want my opinion, both names are fucking terrible). Skye starts off like an abandoned, orphaned duckling and imprints on Coulson and Coulson, without family of his own and everyone thinking he's one dead mother fucker, is happy to play the part of duckling dad. Eventually it becomes more than just a need to fill the void of not having a family as they both go through some weird ass shit together, with like alien blood injections and alien cities. Coulson goes to the end of the earth and back to protect her and in response, Skye never waivers in her trust of him. Along with May, Skye's first instinct is to believe in Coulson, to assume he has a larger plan that will fix everything, that he will take care of them. It's going to be interesting to see how this relationship plays out because as of the last episode I have watched (season 3, episode 17 "The Team"), Skye was infected with the fake-Grant-Ward-disease and is possessed and working for the bad guys. I will put 1 zillion dollars on the fact that Coulson is going to fucking end Ward (AGAIN) for fucking with his fake duckling daughter (and hopefully instead of with a robot hand chest crush, he goes the Bill Paxton way where he gets beaten to death with his own rib. Awww Ward is so much fun to hate!).
In case you are wondering, my favorite episodes from each season are as follows (and they are not necessarily the highest rated episodes):
All in all, I love this show, it's incredibly entertaining and compelling- telling human stories in a heightened setting. There are plenty of flaws in it, it's not a perfect show, it's not Fargo but it's a show that I look forward to watching every week and I'm especially looking forward to seeing the latest episode and then seeing Captain America: Civil War (I'm going to cry like the little baby I am) and then watching the fall out from there back on AoS (all the while I'm still crying because I'm a little crying baby bitch). It truly is a fun time to be a Marvel fan! #TeamCaptain
* * *
Sorry that was a tremendously long post but also, I'm not sorry. I hardly even wrote anything about season 3. It could've been way longer but Hulu only has the last 5 episodes up and looking for them elsewhere seemed like a lot of work. Anyways, I'm not sure what I'm going to rant about next. It'll probably be a coin toss between Dollhouse and Fargo, which is probably a sentence no one ever thought would ever be said out loud (though I suppose technically it was only written down and no one did say this out loud, unless you read everything out loud, and if that's the case, OMFG I HOPE YOU ARE AT HOME BY YOURSELF). That's what I bring to the table yall, the unexpected. And the dumb. Laters.
For whatever reason, I don't think a lot of my friends watch this show which I don't understand why because my friends are all a bunch of fucking nerds and this is right up their alley. Of course I watch it, it's a Joss Whedon show and everyone knows I would follow that man to the ends of the earth, and this show is no different. Sure, he's not the showrunner per se but he's involved and that is ENOUGH FOR ME. Also, I apologize that this is pretty lengthy. I had a lot of thoughts, okay guys? It's Joss Whedon.
P.S. I wrote a little ditty back on the Daredevil post about my feelings about comic books and their TV counterparts and their authenticity, but if you didn't read it or don't remember it, here's the gist. I do not give two flying fucks if this TV show is close to any of the comic books. There's all kinds of characters on the show who are apparently super hero-y people-y thingys (Daisy? She's someone. Same thing with Bobbi. Who are they? Fuck if I know.) and there's all kinds of obscure references that nerds probably would love but I don't even catch them. And guess what? I just don't fucking care. (Though full disclosure, I've totally watched this show in order with the movies (some of them fall in place during the season, Thor: Dark World and Captain America: Winter Soldier) and it's pretty fucking cool.)
The show starts off a little cheesy and I think that's what throws people off. I know it did for me. I watched the first two episodes and was like "Meh. *shrugs shoulders and rewatches Firefly for the zillionth time*" Once season 1 came onto Netflix, I hunkered down and finally watched it all and I'm so glad I did. Sometimes season 1 can rely heavily on Avengers/Marvel world, with throwbacks to Asgaard, cameos by Samuel L Jackson and Robin Scherbatsky, and constant callbacks to the Marvel movies and it's just... distracting. (Woof, there's even a Stan Lee cameo. Pass.) Yes, we get it. Avengers was a great, wildly successful movie but there's all these moments where the show's winking at the audience ("An 084? Last one I saw........was a hammer. *nudge nudge* *OMG HE MEANS THOR WOW KOOL*) and it's annoying. (Okay, I did like one very subtle callback. Skye looking at the wall of fallen S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and just casually mentions "Bucky Barnes" before Winter Soldier even came out, slick dudes.) So in the beginning of the first season, between the cheesy episodes (Norwegian Paganist hate group....oh God, did I really just type that?), overly Marvel-y ones (Lady Sif and some Lorelei bitch throwing some serious, in your face women empowerment shit that even I was like, "K guys, we get it, chill?") and so much techy-science-y jargon I started being worried my face was gonna get stuck in some Liz Lemon over the top eye roll as seen here:
So I just spent a bunch of time complaining about this show and the nerds that watch it that you are probably like WTF Colleen? Do you even like it? (Obviously I do. Remember: Joss Whedon.) Besides the slow start to the first season, this show fucking kicks ass. About halfway through the season, earlier episodes that seemed like one-offs start clicking into place and a larger story arc starts to take shape. I love shit like that. It gives me confidence in the writers when all the little bits start coming together. That's why I love Joss. He's such a talented storyteller, him and his team. The very best part of the first season are the episodes that take place before, during, and after the events of Winter Soldier, which if anyone knows me knows that is my favorite Marvel movie (THE ELEVATOR!) so DUH those are my favorite episodes as well. The betrayal of Hydra hiding within S.H.I.E.L.D. is really felt here because we've spent 16 hours with these characters, walked around in their shoes, lived their lives. This is our betrayal too. So when the guest star (which I should've known it was going to be him but I didn't) Bill Paxton is revealed as Hydra, I loved it. When hunky-hunky, seal team 6, over the top, super duper spy team member Grant Ward is also revealed as Hydra, I FUCKING CHEERED! THAT was awesome! And in the following seasons, they never backtracked on Ward which most shows would. You need that white leading man jaw line to be with *insert girl main character here*. Ward stays and remains not a good dude. Though out of all the terrible things he does over the course of 3 seasons, his worst crime IS FUCKING KILLING PATTON OSWALT (don't worry guys Oswalt comes back, as his brother? His clone? They never really explain. I like to think that the writers were sitting in a room and were like "we need to bring Patton Oswalt back" and then they write the new character and were like how do we explain this? And then they were like, "Fuck it. We don't have to explain shit." I honestly hope we never find out. We don't need to know everything all the time, let's enjoy a little fucking mystery guys.). That was the worst thing Ward did, or, okay, maybe the shit with Bobbi at the end of season 2. That was pretty fucking gross.
There are some awesome callbacks though to other parts of the Whedonverse and unlike the Marvel callbacks, these I LoOoOoOoOove! There's a few Ron Glass (Shepherd Book) sightings (which one day I will share my Whedonverse "it's all connected" theory with y'all but today is not that day), Fred/Whiskey/Dr. Saunders is the heartbreaking and beautiful cellist and as if that wasn't enough, we have Mike Petersen aka Deathlok aka Charles Gunn from Angel *insert heart eye emoji here* and sympathetic villain Priya (her Dollhouse name, her AoS name is something Chinese and yall know I don't know Chinese) is Skye's mom! *insert two heart eye emojis here*. One of my favorite Whedonverse references though isn't an actor, it's the call and response "Did I fall asleep?" "For a little while." from Dollhouse (and it fits nicely in my IT'S ALL CONNECTED theory) from Coulson's memories of Tahiti (or rather T.A.H.I.T.I. They sure do love their fucking acronyms, don't they?). That show Dollhouse is seriously underrated but alas! Another song for another day.
So one of the best things of this show are the villains. They are fun, scary, duplicitous and multifaceted. Bill Paxton was great as the double agent Hydra big bad (to use a Buffy term) in season 1. He was funny and creepy and did crazy well (he punched through a guy, ripped out a rib and then beat the man to death with it WTF, how could I love him more?) but the real take away from season 1 was Grant Ward. I know I've talked about him a little bit ago but he really is a fantastic villain. He's manipulative and self serving, which makes him very unpredictable and fun to watch. Dr. Whitehall is another fun villain (played by Reed Diamond, another Whedonverse alum!), with his rolling monologues, brainwashing, and German accent, as you all know criminals often have. Kyle MacLachlan's Calvin, Skye's hell bent father with some hulk like anger issues and a desperate need for revenge, leaves an impressive and gory trail of bodies in his wake and you equal parts want him to finally get his revenge but also NOOOOO! And despite all the terrorism and murder he commits, at the end when his mind is wiped, like a regular ol Donna, of all the incredible things he's encountered and endured, it's very bittersweet.
You know it's not a Colleen blog post if I don't go on and on about some bad bitches. And thankfully this show is filled to the brim with them. Melinda May (BTW fun fact: the actress who plays May also was the voice of Mulan), Skye, BOBBI (capslock intended), Simmons, Raina, Agent 33, for better or for worse, these bitches be bad. I like how the show is constantly putting women in power and not as figureheads or eye candy but as actual fucking people with actual fucking power. Simmons is just as smart and cunning as Fitz, Melinda is just as much as force to be reckon with as Ward, and everyone knows that Bobbi could destroy Hunter without so much as breaking a sweat. Simmons has a spectacular moment with Ward, after he drops her in the bottom of the ocean, she's understandably pissed the fuck off. She makes him a promise "Hey mother fucker, next time I see you I'ma put some lead so far in your fucking brain that no amount of my techno-science gibberish will bring your sorry ass back to life" (she really said: "next time I see you, I'll kill you" but she's British so that's what it translates to in American) but sweet little Simmons-pie doesn't get to deliver her vigilante justice (that honor goes to a rage filled Coulson with a chest crushing on a planet in another solar system, I fucking love this show) but she certainly does try with a disintegrating grenade. Raina is a great complex character, she's neither a hero nor a villain though I suppose she's more villain than hero. She's resourceful and selfish, manipulative and convincing and has a very unsettling nickname (Girl in the flower dress? Sounds so innocent, like she would never use people as pawns to get to an underground alien city where she would become a hedgehog woman with visions of the future. Jesus this show is great). Bobbie is one of my favorite, FAVORITE characters (I can't talk about her and Hunter's spy send off without getting verklempt, come back Bobbi!!), one because she's played by Tyra from FNL and I fucking love Tyra, and two because she uses these baton things and I get fucking AMPED whenever she brings them out. Anyways so one of my favorite/most bad ass/dark moments of Bobbi's is when Agent 33 is torturing her because Bobbi turned over Agent 33 as an asset when she was undercover at Hydra (fun fact: Agent 33 says the line "I will stand with Ward" which is the hashtag, #StandWithWard, that fucking delusional fangirls use thinking that Ward is actually a good guy and can be redeemed. LOL they dummmb!). Agent 33 is reasonably hacked off, I mean girlfriend was tortured for months by Hydra and then brainwashed and then on top of that had half her face electrocuted off, so as much as I love Bobbi, I'm all you're not wrong Agent 33. But Bobbi, with fucking needles under her nails, is like "whatev bitch, I'd do it again and I'ma never say sorry cause you're a little pussy bitch" and then attempts to fight her way out. She's overtaken by both Ward and 33 and they are about to kill her and they are like this bitch is craycray, she don't give a FUCK if we put 2 in her brain, so maybe we should like figure out something even more ruthless. They set up some whackadoodle gun timer to go off when someone opens the door and tie up my little Bobbi-baby so she has to watch her lover die in front of her. But this is Bobbi and she's like NOOOOOO and takes the goddamn bullet for him like the boss bitch she is. Skye/Daisy is probably the most contentious of the lady badasses because of her annoying hacker nonsense at the beginning of season 1. Eventually the writers calm their shit and realize that even though she is a surrogate for the audience, she doesn't have to be some insufferable little twat. Once Skye/Daisy actually starts working for S.H.I.E.L.D. and training and actually being part of the team, she finally embraces her inner bad bitchness and isn't fucking terrible to watch. Honestly, the writers probably just couldn't turn off the awesomeness of the actress that plays her so they had to incorporate it and so that's how Skye/Daisy evolves into a mother fucking earthquaking dream. For example, the actress Chloe Bennet did this shit, all in one take, and she fractured her elbow in two places while doing it (*bows down* We're not worthy! We're not worthy!):
Also just watch Melinda May fight Grant Ward if only for the line "you were never on top" #Slay:
Despite this show having crazy, impractical spy gadgets and kung fu theatrics, ridiculous science/techno/hacker jargon, and people with superhero powers, it's grounded in it's authenticity to its relationships, storylines, and character development. I mean, don't get me wrong. I love me some fucking batshit craziness, but that love for nonsense burns fast and it cannot make me commit to a show long term. I need organic stories and character arcs. The storyline is outrageous sure, but there's a cause and a effect. T.A.H.I.T.I leads to Hydra/deathlok, which leads to the alien drawing shit, which leads to the underground alien city, which leads to the inhumans which leads to that foreign planet place, which leads to the ATCU, and the new version of Grant Ward. There are consequences for actions, AoS never shies away from that. Injuries last, relationships fracture, and new alliances are created. One heartbreaking instance of this is the relationship between Fitz and Simmons. They were best friends for years throughout the academy, little annoying chirping British birds smarter than everyone in the room/planet, and somewhere along the line Fitz falls for Simmons (my personal opinion, he realizes it season 1 episode 6) but he can't tell her because how do you tell your best friend that? Well eventually they are down at the bottom of the fucking ocean because of Grant fucking Ward and they figured out a way to break out but there's only enough oxygen for one of them. Fitz is like "listen you beautiful bitch, I love you, I've always loved you, you my ride or die but this time its ride for you and die for me. PEACE" (Actually it was- Simmons "You're my best friend!" Fitz "Yeah and you're more than that to me. I couldn't find the courage to tell you, so let me show you." *gives her the oxygen, blasts out the window* I translated it from British/Scottish to American for yall, you're welcome!) Fitz makes it out alive but not without repercussions. He was without oxygen for several minutes so his big beautiful brain was like guess I'm not needed anymore, and started to die off. So Fitz is alive but he's a fraction of himself. Between that and the fact that he declared his undying love for her while actually sacrificing himself, there's tension between them- embarrassment, resentment for feeling abandoned, and just all around hurt feelings. Simmons doesn't know what to say and Fitz is like please don't say anything because I want to crawl in a hole and die all over again. It's so realistic, I mean I'm not a super genius with like 3000 PhDs but I have told someone I cared about them and had them be like nah bro and still have to see them day in and day out. It's pretty fucking brutal, it takes almost the entire second season for us to get Fitz and Simmons back and because it's Joss Whedon's fucking show, nothing gold will ever fucking stay and life is dark and meaningless and I fucking hate it and love it in equal parts.
Another interesting relationship on the show is Skye and Coulson, and I'm only calling her Skye because Coulson can't fucking remember to call her Daisy (though if you want my opinion, both names are fucking terrible). Skye starts off like an abandoned, orphaned duckling and imprints on Coulson and Coulson, without family of his own and everyone thinking he's one dead mother fucker, is happy to play the part of duckling dad. Eventually it becomes more than just a need to fill the void of not having a family as they both go through some weird ass shit together, with like alien blood injections and alien cities. Coulson goes to the end of the earth and back to protect her and in response, Skye never waivers in her trust of him. Along with May, Skye's first instinct is to believe in Coulson, to assume he has a larger plan that will fix everything, that he will take care of them. It's going to be interesting to see how this relationship plays out because as of the last episode I have watched (season 3, episode 17 "The Team"), Skye was infected with the fake-Grant-Ward-disease and is possessed and working for the bad guys. I will put 1 zillion dollars on the fact that Coulson is going to fucking end Ward (AGAIN) for fucking with his fake duckling daughter (and hopefully instead of with a robot hand chest crush, he goes the Bill Paxton way where he gets beaten to death with his own rib. Awww Ward is so much fun to hate!).
In case you are wondering, my favorite episodes from each season are as follows (and they are not necessarily the highest rated episodes):
- Season 1 "Turn, Turn, Turn" - Hydra! Betrayal! Bill Paxton!
- Season 2 "A Hen in the Wolf House" - Bobbi! Covers blown! Flowers!
- Season 3 "4,722 Hours" - Simmons on a completely different planet/universe!
All in all, I love this show, it's incredibly entertaining and compelling- telling human stories in a heightened setting. There are plenty of flaws in it, it's not a perfect show, it's not Fargo but it's a show that I look forward to watching every week and I'm especially looking forward to seeing the latest episode and then seeing Captain America: Civil War (I'm going to cry like the little baby I am) and then watching the fall out from there back on AoS (all the while I'm still crying because I'm a little crying baby bitch). It truly is a fun time to be a Marvel fan! #TeamCaptain
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Sorry that was a tremendously long post but also, I'm not sorry. I hardly even wrote anything about season 3. It could've been way longer but Hulu only has the last 5 episodes up and looking for them elsewhere seemed like a lot of work. Anyways, I'm not sure what I'm going to rant about next. It'll probably be a coin toss between Dollhouse and Fargo, which is probably a sentence no one ever thought would ever be said out loud (though I suppose technically it was only written down and no one did say this out loud, unless you read everything out loud, and if that's the case, OMFG I HOPE YOU ARE AT HOME BY YOURSELF). That's what I bring to the table yall, the unexpected. And the dumb. Laters.
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