Game of Thrones Seasons 4-6
GAME OF THRONE SPOILERS AHEAD
SO guys, here I am again. It's taken me awhile because like I said previously, if I never watched another episode, I'd be cool but I made my brother a promise to watch it all and so I shall. Never one to go back on a promise (except for all those times I did go back on a promise). Anyways, season 4, what's up. There were some parts of season 4 I really liked and there were parts I really, really fucking hated. But first let me try to sum it up...
So worst parts out of the way, Bran goes to the north with his gang, dude from Love Actually dies, they fight some skeletons and then are saved by some wizard dude living under a tree. Sam is like ohh I love this girl, I'm going to send her away, ohhh I shouldn't have sent her away, ohhh she's back and Jon Snow is like ohhh I know so much but no one will listen to me, bad dudes are coming, and they come and there's a fight and then the King B bro shows up like out of no where and I'm like HOW IS ANY OF THIS PART OF THE STORY, IT'S THE WORST (and also, if this is what makes it in from the books, what the fuck are they editing out because this shit is terr-r-r-r-r-ible). SOOO to the good parts, Joffrey dies at his wedding to Margery and everyone thinks its Tyrion because of all the people at the table, Tyrion and Sansa hated little fucker the most, he has a trial, he says FUCK YOU ALL and requests some combat shit, dude fights for him goes all Inigo Montoya and then the Mountain explodes his head so that means Tyrion is supposed to die but Lannister bro lets him escape but Tyrion has a little detour and murders all the people that fucked with him, aka his girl and his dad. So who killed Joffrey? Mayor from the wire did, all in the name of love for Mama Stark and now by the transitive property, Sansa. Sansa continues to be pushed around like a pawn because shes got some kind of magical vagina or beer flavored nipples or some shit. Also there's Ramsay appealing to the darkness in me and he makes the annoying fake stark brother his little pet and sends him home like a little trojan horse. Arya and the hound are still on their grand road trip and make it to her aunts house, just after she dies and Arya laughs which was perfect because I literally was like girlfriend you are always a day late and a dollar short and she clearly feels the same way and then they run into Tilda Swinton and shes like girl I got you, I'm with your mom and then the Hound fights Tilda Swinton for her and the hound gets super injured and tries to get Arya to kill him and she doesn't but she runs away to get on a boat to meet the assassin dude? Is the assassin dude coming back? Khaleesi frees some more slaves and tries to practice being a queen and finds that it's pretty fucking hard to do that and finds out her right hand dude was selling her out in the beginning before he fell in love with her. Also she bangs Sarah's baby daddy (Cal mmmm) from Orphan Black (RESPECT!) and her dragons are going a bit off the book, as dragons do, and she has to lock them up. Some other stuff happens too but I forget.
So there's a lot that I liked. I loved Arya's storyline. I've said it before and I'll say it again, she's like best person on this show and truth be told, she's the only reason why I continued to watch after the fucking shitty terribleness that happened in the episode 3. I don't know if they had a different writer or WHAT for that episode but it like backtracked all the good things in the show and brought back ALL THE FUCKING SHITTY STUFF. Random gratuitous sex in the background of every scene for no fucking reason at all? Check! A Fat Sam heavy episode? Check! And worst of all, Lannister bro not just banging his sister, but raping her, in front of her dead son's body. Let me tell you why I have a problem with that, you don't get to use rape in a story for shock value. It's disgusting, lazy, terrible story telling for a million different reasons. And then, to write it off, and ignore that it happened, it's not authentic, it's not realistic. This show, or at least that episode and a couple other from this season, was clearly written by some dudes with some control issues with women. You know the kind- neckbeards, fedoras, "nice guys". That shit was some revenge porn written by some mouth breather who never got laid in high school, I don't have time for that kind of bullshit in my real life, I'm sure as shit not going to make time for it in my entertainment. I cannot stress how fucking disgusting that was, it seriously makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it. Not just the actions that took place on screen, but because of what happened off screen. The creative process, the people who thought this was a necessary thing to do in the story and IF IT WAS NECESSARY, the fall out would've been much different. Lannister sis wouldn't have come back to her brother on her hands and knees saying it was him she loved. There couldn't have been a single woman on the writing team because if there were, none of that shit would've happened, I'll tell you that much.
Personally, I just wish the show was Margery (I decided I like her, shame though, seeing as I was spoiled about her), Grandma Tyrell, Arya, Khaleesi, dragons, doggo wolfies, Tyrion, drunk Lannister sis, and Ramsay. Everyone else sucks. I mean like that King B brother dude, Stanis or something, I feel like he's not a good guy and he's not a good villain. Ramsay is a good villain, Lannister sis is a good villain, Arya and Khaleesi, they are good people. They are all written well, with interesting storylines and layers. Ramsay is psychotic but he yearns for his father's approval, Lannister sis is power hungry and manipulative but she loves her kids more than anything. It gives them motives, it gives them depth. Meanwhile King B bro has like some witch with him and there's a god of fire and that's his motive. I can't understand it, I don't believe it. It's fucking stupid, he can please exit the show along with the entire night's watch because they literally suck at their jobs. So that's where I'm at right now.... onto season 5.
Season 5 is the very best season so far, hands down, far and away. Let me jump right into it!
SO Jon Snow fresh off of killing his gingerfake wildling girlfriend, deals with a bunch of old dudes bickering over who does what and when and how and somehow manages to be elected "leader of the gang who suck at guarding the wall" (night's watch), takes a bunch of dudes out to help the wildlings and then they all get straight MERKED by some white walkers, the night's watch is like DAFUQ did you do that for Jon Snow and then stabbed him 300 times and he died (LOL no he didn't). Stanis, the King B bro, marches from the night's watch to Winterfell because he's the God's chosen instrument for king (LOL) and along the way, burns his daughter at the stake and his wife kills herself but it's all for naught! His army is CRUSHED at Winterfell, ginger witch peaced out, and Stanis finally fucking dies and hopefully stays dead along with that entire storyline. At Winterfell, Sansa marries Ramsey because of her magic vagina and then he rapes her lots and there's actually a fall out for once!!!!!! She jumps off the castle wall with Reek/fake Stark bro but she doesn't die because I know she's in the next season. Lannister bro and Bronn go to Dorn (Durn? Dorm? Dorne?) on rescue mission and gets their fucking asses kicked by the sand snake chicks that I instantly fell in love with the moment they showed up on my screen. They get out of there and Lannister bro tells his niece daughter that hes her dad uncle and hugs her and she dies because of poison lipstick (sand snake bitches are LEGIT). Tyrion gets kidnapped by the Mormont dude and is being taken to Khaleesi and Tyrions like, okay dumb shit you are just taking me where I'M ALREADY GOING and they get attacked by stone people and I guess Mormont is going to become a stone person too? Khaleesi is dealing with some murderers with masks and policing the streets, and it all comes to a head at this coliseum like murderfest and all these masked mother fuckers have Khaleesi and her dudes surrounded and it seems like bitch is going down but her one free dragon straight pops out of no where, sensing his mom is trouble, and she hops up on the back of a dragon and peaces out of that bitch, THE MOTHER OF DRAGONS GUYS! Lannister sis is ticked off she's pretty much a useless figure head now that her OTHER son got married to Margery and so she goes up to these militant monks and is like hey guys! you think gay sex is wrong right? here's some swords, go take down the tyrells. The militant monks are like hellz to the yeee-ahhh and imprison Margery and her bro. Lannister sis is like great guys, job well done, gay sex is eeeeevil. And they are like yeah well not as evil as incest you disgusting bitch and off to prison she goes too! But she confesses to banging her bro and her cousin and probably 1 million other Lannisters and any one who slightly resembled a Lannister and people whose names rhymed with Lannister etc etc etc. They chop off her hair and strip her and make her do the bloodiest, dirtiest walk of shame home, she leveled up on that shit. Finally, Arya, the best person in the world, goes to an island with a knight statue and finds the assassin man dude (FINALLLYYYYYY!!!) and starts her training and just happens to stumble upon a dude whose name is on her list. She steals a face from the assassin place and FUCKING DESTROYS THIS DUDE omg it was so amazing BUUUT assassin dude is like not cool bro and poisons her with the facelessness that causes her to go blind or something. It was intense and I can't wait to see the rest of her story.
So this season was pretty great, Brann was completely out of it, there was hardly any incest, Lannister sis gets some comeuppance of her own inadvertent doing, Arya murders a dude, white walker raising the dead, just overall greatness! The whole masked murders thing was pretty creepy/cool with Khaleesi and then SHE FLEW AWAY ON A DRAGON jeeeeeeeeeeez that was awesome!! Stanis died (BYE BITCH!) and we got introduced to the sand snake bad bitches. Even Sansa's story wasn't fucking stupid (but probably because she's with the worst villain/best villain). Stanis, who is stupid and had a stupid storyline, had a nice cute moment with his daughter, talking about how he saved her life. OF COURSE though I should've realized he was going to fucking burn her at the stake (that's on me, guys). The Hardhome thing was pretty cool, I fucking love the giant (I'd watch an entire episode of him just stomping on those stupid skeleton zombies), the white walkers themselves are legit, and I would be lying if I said I didn't get goosebumps when white walker dude lifted up his arms and all the freshly dead just stood up.
There were a few things I didn't like, because I can never be completely happy. I dislike how they've used Margery and the tyrells in general. They are all really interesting and Margery could be such a wild card but instead they keep writing around her. Maybe it was because she was filming Hunger games? I don't know, I just wish she was brought into the story more and other people were left out (ginger witch, Stanis, Fat Sam, almost everything to do with the Night Watch and the wildlings, militant monks). Speaking of the militant monks, I liked them at first, but I really hope they go away from that storyline and fast. The whole "inspired by religion" fanatics looking for justice thing has been done and done and done again but maybe that's just me?
But onward to Season 6
OKAY SEASON 6, I SEE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
As always, let's get the worst parts out of the way. Fat Sam takes his "girlfriend" (aka his beard because after 6 seasons we all know him and Jon Snow are not even secretly in love) to his parents home and then they are like get out of here and he goes to a library. Brann got caught by a white walker by daydreaming in the trees and like everyone died, including the one fucking person who's helped him the entire time. But not only that, he like ruined this dude's entire life to the point that he like time traveled and his only words he says from being a kid until the day he dies are spawned from the last words he hears, that's fucked dude. Lannister bro was mostly out of commission this season, goes to fight this war thing for Filch and is like fuck whats the point until he comes home and sees the fucked shit that his sister lover just did. So what did Lannister sis do? Well she is pretty pissed the fuck off about her walk of shame last season so she takes a revenge tour and murders like anyone she remotely dislikes. Oh, you talked shit about her? YA DEAD but she saves the truly remarkable for the people she truly hates, the militant monks and the tyrell siblings. She straight nukes them with green bomby things and its horrible but its also AWESOME! Poor wittle Margery though, she's like oh I've seen the error of my ways, because she's a sneaky little snick and figured out a way to play the monks and she knows the whole place about to blow but no one believes her for some stupid reason RIP girlfriend. Jon Snow is brought back from the dead (GASP! SHOCK!) and decides to use his second chance at life and not have a stupid, boring story. He's like fuuuuuck the nights watch (yup!) and is like where my wildlings at? Lets go get my kingdom back from psycho Ramsey cause he's got my brother that I always forget about held hostage. A battle is fought and the Starks finally come out on top for once, thanks to Sansa and her brain transplant this season. Sansa meets up with Tilda Swinton, who pledges her allegiance to her, and finally gets to the night's watch and sees a family member for the first time in years. Together, her and SnowBro, they wage the war to get Winterfell back and despite Jon Snow's know-all-in-everything-ever, he lacks some key Ramsay knowledge, which is to say, everything about Ramsay. Sansa is like listen, I know I've been pretty much pointless for the past 5 years but I got a new brain and I'ma use it. Ramsay will not fuck with you, and SnowBro ignores her advice and she's like fuck it, I guess I'll have to win the war all on my own, and she brings in her uncle lover, wins the war, and then feeds Ramsay to his own hounds (OMG OMG OMG OMG)/ SPEAKING of the hound, HE'S ALIVE! So onto the 2 best storylines. Arya and Khaleesi, as always. Arya is starting again from the bottom of assassin training and kicks ass, moves her way up, and when she has to go kill this rando, she just can't. She needs to be fueled by rage and hate to get her murder on and she likes a little blood on her while she does it, so poison and a stranger? Not gonna work. So now she's on the run and the other assassin girl is after her and Arya is like "bitch I have a name, it's Arya Stark and you about to find out what that means bitch" and murders her and puts her face back on the shelf. Assassin coach is like well done girlfriend, have all the faces you like and good luck on your murder spree. But she's Arya fucking Stark, she doesn't need LUCK! She just needs a few cooking utensils and a couple more ingredients so that she can feed Filch's sons to him in a pie. OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then she kills him too. (She's the best!) Khaleesi is captured by her former husband's homies and they are like "you have to go in a hut forever because you are worthless now that your husband is dead" and she's like "you know what's pointless? Your skin against fire" and burns them and everything else down to the ground and walks out naked but unscathed. Her husband's homies were like DAMN GIRL YOU ARE LEGIT AND WE SHALL FOLLOW YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH (as they should). Tyrion has made kind of a mess of things back where the masked dudes are and Khaleesi has to fly in with her dragon and be like yo bros, YA DEAD and takes over the same city AGAIN but the fake Stark bro and his sis show up like here's some boats, we pledge our allegiance, Khaleesi is finally ready to take back the throne (CHILLS!!!)
Season 6 guys is where it's at, holy fucking shit. There wasn't all the whining, "wah wah wah, I should be king" but real fucking power play moves and most of them done by the laaaaaaadies ( *sings okay ladies now lets get in formation*). But it wasn't just great because it appealed to my inner (lol outer) feminist but because SHIT FINALLY STARTED TO HAPPEN. I mean it started beginning to happen last season but this past season, IT GOT THE BALL ROLLING. You see what's going to happen, Khaleesi and the white walkers are finally going to show up to Westeros. It feels like all the other boring, stupid bullshit that was going on before, that's finally all settled for the most part. There's not a zillion, pointless "kings" all fighting for the throne. All the different, separate stories- they are all finally starting to cross over and THAT is what makes it great. Sansa finally seeing Jon Snow? Awesome! Khaleesi making Tyrion her Hand? OMFG AWESOME! Arya killing Filch? *starts screaming forever*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This, THIS, was what I wanted to see but I didn't know it. As soon as the bald dude was like "I'm taking you to Khaleesi" to Tyrion, I fist pumped the air. I love Khaleesi but I don't love how removed she is from everything, I want to see her interact with the other players in the show. I NEED to see Lannister sis's face when Khaleesi flies in on a dragon (OMG OMG OMG). These are all just important interactions and it only took until they veered away from the books to make the action actually happen. It just makes me NEVER want to read the books and wish that the writers were doing more of their own solo shit years ago. Though the writers are still on my shit list for the Lannister sis rape back in season 4, so tread lightly ese.
So my brother gave me a lot of shit about complaining about the white dudes in this show/others. I just feel like I should clarify and me half drunk in a bar was never going to be able to clearly state my honest thoughts. It's not that I'm not a fan of seeing white dudes on the screen or whatever, it's that it's always white dudes, the same story, over and over again. How many sitcoms are there where there is an overweight white dude with an abnormally, hott, out of his league wife? How many movies have come out about, even just recently, about rich, white dudes playing the stock market and doing blow? Of course there are good versions or interesting ways to tell the story but how many times do we hear it and how many other times does it suck? AND THEN THEY JUST KEEP DOING IT. The LotR movies, including the hobbit, it's just a fantasy world about a bunch of white dudes. Sure there's a girl sprinkled in here or there, and no one of color, and yet they are GREAT, so it can be done! (Well, LotR is, I hate the hobbit movies). You could say this shit about the Dystopian super girl movies, some are great stories (Hunger Games) and some are not (Divergent) yet they keep being told over and over again. My frustration with GoT, especially in the beginning was that it was all about these dudes and their pissing contest when the actually cool and interesting stories were the women and even Tyrion. I think their stories were more interesting because there was more of a struggle, trying to get power without looking like they get power, trying to maintain some sort of autonomy when their vaginas are sold from family to family, or generally just trying to get a seat at the table. All the dudes, the big bro Stark, Stanis and his gay brother, Theon, Ramsey and his dad, Lannister Bro and Lannister dad, these are all dudes that are rich and white and from prominent families and because of that, they deserve to be king. There's no real struggle, there's no real character growth (exception being maybe Theon and Lannister bro, I think I actually saw a little bit of change in who they are, a little) and to me that is boring, I loved seeing Arya learning to fight and trying to shed her name, becoming friends with the hound even though his name was on her list, and struggling with her own moral compass at times. Tyrion going from a drunk who bangs a lot of whores to someone with real conviction, political savvy, and a mission. Sansa goes from a pawn in someone else's game to finally making her own moves on the board. So generally, yes I like to see more lady screen time in shows. They are underrepresented, especially women of color, LGBT, and WOC LGBT, but if their stories are told right, they will be the most complex, compelling, fascinating stories told because they aren't the same ones you've already heard a million times. So that's my two cents on that.
So overall, all 6 seasons (though I'm still really focusing on the last 3), here are some of my thoughts:
Favorite moments-
Khaleesi jumping on the back of a dragon and leaving the murder arena, Arya killing dude in whore house and Filch, finding out the Hound was alive (I literally screamed!), Sansa taking Tilda Swinton as her personal knight, every single moment with Grandma Tyrell or the little Mormont girl, Arya laughing when she finds out her aunt's dead
Saddest moments-
Khaleesi locking up her dragons and them crying out to her, Arya talking about the Hound and trying to convince herself she hated him, Khaleesi telling Mormont to find a cure to being stone person, every time a doggo wolfie was killed, Lannister sis being raped, and I guess "hold the door" (I was born without a heart guys)
New Favorite characters (aka not Arya, Tyrion, Khaleesi, or Grandma Tyrell)-
Grey worm: he grew from a yes man slave, to having feelings for the hottie black former slave girl, to speaking his mind and voicing his opinion especially when it came to slavery. I was genuinely scared he was going to die in that alley way fight and was very happy he didn't
Little lady mormont: she's a force to be RECKONED with! You know me, I love a bad bitch and the smaller the bad bitch, the more POTENT the bad bitchness is.
Lannister sis: OKAY BEAR WITH ME. she became a really fun, complex villain to watch. Most of her questionable decisions were half driven by her thirst for power but also half driven for her love of her children and when the one affected the other it led to some very amazing moments, like arming the militant monks and then being jailed herself and having to do the walk of shame. Then DESTROYING her enemies which then in turn, made her lose her last son and then finally put her in a position of the highest power, something that she always wanted but she inadvertently lost everything she loved along the way, probably Lannister bro too. He didn't look to happy to see she blew up half the city. Brother lovers, amiright??
Sansa: UM HAI BRAIN TRANSPLANT!!!!!! Girlfriend got a new brain, a backbone, and a personality and she wears that shit WELL!! Between stepping in when Jon Snow almost gets himself killed because he didn't listen to her in the first place and getting to have her rapist murdered by his own dogs, this shit was SATISFYING and great to watch! After 5 seasons of her passed around for her magical vagina, it was fucking BEAUTIFUL to see her asserting herself and actually BEING a part of the story instead of just existing in it. Also I love her alliance with Tilda Swinton, it's just the greatest!
Things that I want to happen-
Some final stray thoughts, I definitely enjoyed the series more as it went on and it improved exponentially (nailed it!) in the last season, I've gone on and on about that so I'll just let that rest because you get the idea. I will say if something happens to Arya, I straight up will not watch the show, there would be no point for me, she is far and away my favorite character. The cinematography was a lot better than previous seasons and more stuff stuck out to me this time when watching, though I'm not sure if I found it better than Fargo (that's the Colleen gold standard) but maybe I feel that way because I've literally watched Fargo 3 times. Anyways, all these videos I've posted in here are scenes I liked for one reason or another. Maybe it made me laugh, maybe I thought it was beautiful, sometimes it's a bit of both. Those are just moments I really enjoyed and wanted to share. I did end up really enjoying the show and will continue watching when season 7 starts, I just wish they veered away from the books sooner because I feel like that's when the shit started crackalackin' but veered they did and now they've got a new fan. :)
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Okay guys, that took forever and I'm looking forward to doing something a lot smaller so next I'm going to watch/write about Stranger Things. I've heard great things and have been told by several different people that I would enjoy but I literally know nothing about the plot. I think it's 80's-ish and kinda sci-fi-y/alien-y or something but it sounds great and it's only 8 episodes so SIGN ME UP! Hopefully I can get back to weekly posts again :) YAY
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| who run the world? GIRLS |
SO guys, here I am again. It's taken me awhile because like I said previously, if I never watched another episode, I'd be cool but I made my brother a promise to watch it all and so I shall. Never one to go back on a promise (except for all those times I did go back on a promise). Anyways, season 4, what's up. There were some parts of season 4 I really liked and there were parts I really, really fucking hated. But first let me try to sum it up...
So worst parts out of the way, Bran goes to the north with his gang, dude from Love Actually dies, they fight some skeletons and then are saved by some wizard dude living under a tree. Sam is like ohh I love this girl, I'm going to send her away, ohhh I shouldn't have sent her away, ohhh she's back and Jon Snow is like ohhh I know so much but no one will listen to me, bad dudes are coming, and they come and there's a fight and then the King B bro shows up like out of no where and I'm like HOW IS ANY OF THIS PART OF THE STORY, IT'S THE WORST (and also, if this is what makes it in from the books, what the fuck are they editing out because this shit is terr-r-r-r-r-ible). SOOO to the good parts, Joffrey dies at his wedding to Margery and everyone thinks its Tyrion because of all the people at the table, Tyrion and Sansa hated little fucker the most, he has a trial, he says FUCK YOU ALL and requests some combat shit, dude fights for him goes all Inigo Montoya and then the Mountain explodes his head so that means Tyrion is supposed to die but Lannister bro lets him escape but Tyrion has a little detour and murders all the people that fucked with him, aka his girl and his dad. So who killed Joffrey? Mayor from the wire did, all in the name of love for Mama Stark and now by the transitive property, Sansa. Sansa continues to be pushed around like a pawn because shes got some kind of magical vagina or beer flavored nipples or some shit. Also there's Ramsay appealing to the darkness in me and he makes the annoying fake stark brother his little pet and sends him home like a little trojan horse. Arya and the hound are still on their grand road trip and make it to her aunts house, just after she dies and Arya laughs which was perfect because I literally was like girlfriend you are always a day late and a dollar short and she clearly feels the same way and then they run into Tilda Swinton and shes like girl I got you, I'm with your mom and then the Hound fights Tilda Swinton for her and the hound gets super injured and tries to get Arya to kill him and she doesn't but she runs away to get on a boat to meet the assassin dude? Is the assassin dude coming back? Khaleesi frees some more slaves and tries to practice being a queen and finds that it's pretty fucking hard to do that and finds out her right hand dude was selling her out in the beginning before he fell in love with her. Also she bangs Sarah's baby daddy (Cal mmmm) from Orphan Black (RESPECT!) and her dragons are going a bit off the book, as dragons do, and she has to lock them up. Some other stuff happens too but I forget.
So there's a lot that I liked. I loved Arya's storyline. I've said it before and I'll say it again, she's like best person on this show and truth be told, she's the only reason why I continued to watch after the fucking shitty terribleness that happened in the episode 3. I don't know if they had a different writer or WHAT for that episode but it like backtracked all the good things in the show and brought back ALL THE FUCKING SHITTY STUFF. Random gratuitous sex in the background of every scene for no fucking reason at all? Check! A Fat Sam heavy episode? Check! And worst of all, Lannister bro not just banging his sister, but raping her, in front of her dead son's body. Let me tell you why I have a problem with that, you don't get to use rape in a story for shock value. It's disgusting, lazy, terrible story telling for a million different reasons. And then, to write it off, and ignore that it happened, it's not authentic, it's not realistic. This show, or at least that episode and a couple other from this season, was clearly written by some dudes with some control issues with women. You know the kind- neckbeards, fedoras, "nice guys". That shit was some revenge porn written by some mouth breather who never got laid in high school, I don't have time for that kind of bullshit in my real life, I'm sure as shit not going to make time for it in my entertainment. I cannot stress how fucking disgusting that was, it seriously makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it. Not just the actions that took place on screen, but because of what happened off screen. The creative process, the people who thought this was a necessary thing to do in the story and IF IT WAS NECESSARY, the fall out would've been much different. Lannister sis wouldn't have come back to her brother on her hands and knees saying it was him she loved. There couldn't have been a single woman on the writing team because if there were, none of that shit would've happened, I'll tell you that much.
Personally, I just wish the show was Margery (I decided I like her, shame though, seeing as I was spoiled about her), Grandma Tyrell, Arya, Khaleesi, dragons, doggo wolfies, Tyrion, drunk Lannister sis, and Ramsay. Everyone else sucks. I mean like that King B brother dude, Stanis or something, I feel like he's not a good guy and he's not a good villain. Ramsay is a good villain, Lannister sis is a good villain, Arya and Khaleesi, they are good people. They are all written well, with interesting storylines and layers. Ramsay is psychotic but he yearns for his father's approval, Lannister sis is power hungry and manipulative but she loves her kids more than anything. It gives them motives, it gives them depth. Meanwhile King B bro has like some witch with him and there's a god of fire and that's his motive. I can't understand it, I don't believe it. It's fucking stupid, he can please exit the show along with the entire night's watch because they literally suck at their jobs. So that's where I'm at right now.... onto season 5.
Season 5 is the very best season so far, hands down, far and away. Let me jump right into it!
SO Jon Snow fresh off of killing his ginger
So this season was pretty great, Brann was completely out of it, there was hardly any incest, Lannister sis gets some comeuppance of her own inadvertent doing, Arya murders a dude, white walker raising the dead, just overall greatness! The whole masked murders thing was pretty creepy/cool with Khaleesi and then SHE FLEW AWAY ON A DRAGON jeeeeeeeeeeez that was awesome!! Stanis died (BYE BITCH!) and we got introduced to the sand snake bad bitches. Even Sansa's story wasn't fucking stupid (but probably because she's with the worst villain/best villain). Stanis, who is stupid and had a stupid storyline, had a nice cute moment with his daughter, talking about how he saved her life. OF COURSE though I should've realized he was going to fucking burn her at the stake (that's on me, guys). The Hardhome thing was pretty cool, I fucking love the giant (I'd watch an entire episode of him just stomping on those stupid skeleton zombies), the white walkers themselves are legit, and I would be lying if I said I didn't get goosebumps when white walker dude lifted up his arms and all the freshly dead just stood up.
There were a few things I didn't like, because I can never be completely happy. I dislike how they've used Margery and the tyrells in general. They are all really interesting and Margery could be such a wild card but instead they keep writing around her. Maybe it was because she was filming Hunger games? I don't know, I just wish she was brought into the story more and other people were left out (ginger witch, Stanis, Fat Sam, almost everything to do with the Night Watch and the wildlings, militant monks). Speaking of the militant monks, I liked them at first, but I really hope they go away from that storyline and fast. The whole "inspired by religion" fanatics looking for justice thing has been done and done and done again but maybe that's just me?
But onward to Season 6
OKAY SEASON 6, I SEE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
As always, let's get the worst parts out of the way. Fat Sam takes his "girlfriend" (aka his beard because after 6 seasons we all know him and Jon Snow are not even secretly in love) to his parents home and then they are like get out of here and he goes to a library. Brann got caught by a white walker by daydreaming in the trees and like everyone died, including the one fucking person who's helped him the entire time. But not only that, he like ruined this dude's entire life to the point that he like time traveled and his only words he says from being a kid until the day he dies are spawned from the last words he hears, that's fucked dude. Lannister bro was mostly out of commission this season, goes to fight this war thing for Filch and is like fuck whats the point until he comes home and sees the fucked shit that his sister lover just did. So what did Lannister sis do? Well she is pretty pissed the fuck off about her walk of shame last season so she takes a revenge tour and murders like anyone she remotely dislikes. Oh, you talked shit about her? YA DEAD but she saves the truly remarkable for the people she truly hates, the militant monks and the tyrell siblings. She straight nukes them with green bomby things and its horrible but its also AWESOME! Poor wittle Margery though, she's like oh I've seen the error of my ways, because she's a sneaky little snick and figured out a way to play the monks and she knows the whole place about to blow but no one believes her for some stupid reason RIP girlfriend. Jon Snow is brought back from the dead (GASP! SHOCK!) and decides to use his second chance at life and not have a stupid, boring story. He's like fuuuuuck the nights watch (yup!) and is like where my wildlings at? Lets go get my kingdom back from psycho Ramsey cause he's got my brother that I always forget about held hostage. A battle is fought and the Starks finally come out on top for once, thanks to Sansa and her brain transplant this season. Sansa meets up with Tilda Swinton, who pledges her allegiance to her, and finally gets to the night's watch and sees a family member for the first time in years. Together, her and SnowBro, they wage the war to get Winterfell back and despite Jon Snow's know-all-in-everything-ever, he lacks some key Ramsay knowledge, which is to say, everything about Ramsay. Sansa is like listen, I know I've been pretty much pointless for the past 5 years but I got a new brain and I'ma use it. Ramsay will not fuck with you, and SnowBro ignores her advice and she's like fuck it, I guess I'll have to win the war all on my own, and she brings in her uncle lover, wins the war, and then feeds Ramsay to his own hounds (OMG OMG OMG OMG)/ SPEAKING of the hound, HE'S ALIVE! So onto the 2 best storylines. Arya and Khaleesi, as always. Arya is starting again from the bottom of assassin training and kicks ass, moves her way up, and when she has to go kill this rando, she just can't. She needs to be fueled by rage and hate to get her murder on and she likes a little blood on her while she does it, so poison and a stranger? Not gonna work. So now she's on the run and the other assassin girl is after her and Arya is like "bitch I have a name, it's Arya Stark and you about to find out what that means bitch" and murders her and puts her face back on the shelf. Assassin coach is like well done girlfriend, have all the faces you like and good luck on your murder spree. But she's Arya fucking Stark, she doesn't need LUCK! She just needs a few cooking utensils and a couple more ingredients so that she can feed Filch's sons to him in a pie. OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then she kills him too. (She's the best!) Khaleesi is captured by her former husband's homies and they are like "you have to go in a hut forever because you are worthless now that your husband is dead" and she's like "you know what's pointless? Your skin against fire" and burns them and everything else down to the ground and walks out naked but unscathed. Her husband's homies were like DAMN GIRL YOU ARE LEGIT AND WE SHALL FOLLOW YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH (as they should). Tyrion has made kind of a mess of things back where the masked dudes are and Khaleesi has to fly in with her dragon and be like yo bros, YA DEAD and takes over the same city AGAIN but the fake Stark bro and his sis show up like here's some boats, we pledge our allegiance, Khaleesi is finally ready to take back the throne (CHILLS!!!)
Season 6 guys is where it's at, holy fucking shit. There wasn't all the whining, "wah wah wah, I should be king" but real fucking power play moves and most of them done by the laaaaaaadies ( *sings okay ladies now lets get in formation*). But it wasn't just great because it appealed to my inner (lol outer) feminist but because SHIT FINALLY STARTED TO HAPPEN. I mean it started beginning to happen last season but this past season, IT GOT THE BALL ROLLING. You see what's going to happen, Khaleesi and the white walkers are finally going to show up to Westeros. It feels like all the other boring, stupid bullshit that was going on before, that's finally all settled for the most part. There's not a zillion, pointless "kings" all fighting for the throne. All the different, separate stories- they are all finally starting to cross over and THAT is what makes it great. Sansa finally seeing Jon Snow? Awesome! Khaleesi making Tyrion her Hand? OMFG AWESOME! Arya killing Filch? *starts screaming forever*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This, THIS, was what I wanted to see but I didn't know it. As soon as the bald dude was like "I'm taking you to Khaleesi" to Tyrion, I fist pumped the air. I love Khaleesi but I don't love how removed she is from everything, I want to see her interact with the other players in the show. I NEED to see Lannister sis's face when Khaleesi flies in on a dragon (OMG OMG OMG). These are all just important interactions and it only took until they veered away from the books to make the action actually happen. It just makes me NEVER want to read the books and wish that the writers were doing more of their own solo shit years ago. Though the writers are still on my shit list for the Lannister sis rape back in season 4, so tread lightly ese.
So my brother gave me a lot of shit about complaining about the white dudes in this show/others. I just feel like I should clarify and me half drunk in a bar was never going to be able to clearly state my honest thoughts. It's not that I'm not a fan of seeing white dudes on the screen or whatever, it's that it's always white dudes, the same story, over and over again. How many sitcoms are there where there is an overweight white dude with an abnormally, hott, out of his league wife? How many movies have come out about, even just recently, about rich, white dudes playing the stock market and doing blow? Of course there are good versions or interesting ways to tell the story but how many times do we hear it and how many other times does it suck? AND THEN THEY JUST KEEP DOING IT. The LotR movies, including the hobbit, it's just a fantasy world about a bunch of white dudes. Sure there's a girl sprinkled in here or there, and no one of color, and yet they are GREAT, so it can be done! (Well, LotR is, I hate the hobbit movies). You could say this shit about the Dystopian super girl movies, some are great stories (Hunger Games) and some are not (Divergent) yet they keep being told over and over again. My frustration with GoT, especially in the beginning was that it was all about these dudes and their pissing contest when the actually cool and interesting stories were the women and even Tyrion. I think their stories were more interesting because there was more of a struggle, trying to get power without looking like they get power, trying to maintain some sort of autonomy when their vaginas are sold from family to family, or generally just trying to get a seat at the table. All the dudes, the big bro Stark, Stanis and his gay brother, Theon, Ramsey and his dad, Lannister Bro and Lannister dad, these are all dudes that are rich and white and from prominent families and because of that, they deserve to be king. There's no real struggle, there's no real character growth (exception being maybe Theon and Lannister bro, I think I actually saw a little bit of change in who they are, a little) and to me that is boring, I loved seeing Arya learning to fight and trying to shed her name, becoming friends with the hound even though his name was on her list, and struggling with her own moral compass at times. Tyrion going from a drunk who bangs a lot of whores to someone with real conviction, political savvy, and a mission. Sansa goes from a pawn in someone else's game to finally making her own moves on the board. So generally, yes I like to see more lady screen time in shows. They are underrepresented, especially women of color, LGBT, and WOC LGBT, but if their stories are told right, they will be the most complex, compelling, fascinating stories told because they aren't the same ones you've already heard a million times. So that's my two cents on that.
So overall, all 6 seasons (though I'm still really focusing on the last 3), here are some of my thoughts:
Favorite moments-
Khaleesi jumping on the back of a dragon and leaving the murder arena, Arya killing dude in whore house and Filch, finding out the Hound was alive (I literally screamed!), Sansa taking Tilda Swinton as her personal knight, every single moment with Grandma Tyrell or the little Mormont girl, Arya laughing when she finds out her aunt's dead
Saddest moments-
Khaleesi locking up her dragons and them crying out to her, Arya talking about the Hound and trying to convince herself she hated him, Khaleesi telling Mormont to find a cure to being stone person, every time a doggo wolfie was killed, Lannister sis being raped, and I guess "hold the door" (I was born without a heart guys)
New Favorite characters (aka not Arya, Tyrion, Khaleesi, or Grandma Tyrell)-
Grey worm: he grew from a yes man slave, to having feelings for the hottie black former slave girl, to speaking his mind and voicing his opinion especially when it came to slavery. I was genuinely scared he was going to die in that alley way fight and was very happy he didn't
Little lady mormont: she's a force to be RECKONED with! You know me, I love a bad bitch and the smaller the bad bitch, the more POTENT the bad bitchness is.
Lannister sis: OKAY BEAR WITH ME. she became a really fun, complex villain to watch. Most of her questionable decisions were half driven by her thirst for power but also half driven for her love of her children and when the one affected the other it led to some very amazing moments, like arming the militant monks and then being jailed herself and having to do the walk of shame. Then DESTROYING her enemies which then in turn, made her lose her last son and then finally put her in a position of the highest power, something that she always wanted but she inadvertently lost everything she loved along the way, probably Lannister bro too. He didn't look to happy to see she blew up half the city. Brother lovers, amiright??
Sansa: UM HAI BRAIN TRANSPLANT!!!!!! Girlfriend got a new brain, a backbone, and a personality and she wears that shit WELL!! Between stepping in when Jon Snow almost gets himself killed because he didn't listen to her in the first place and getting to have her rapist murdered by his own dogs, this shit was SATISFYING and great to watch! After 5 seasons of her passed around for her magical vagina, it was fucking BEAUTIFUL to see her asserting herself and actually BEING a part of the story instead of just existing in it. Also I love her alliance with Tilda Swinton, it's just the greatest!
Things that I want to happen-
- The hound and Arya to meet back up
- Khaleesi to FINALLY cross the ocean
- Grandma Tyrell sock Lannister sis in the face
- Lannister sis to be killed by Lannister bro
- Bronn and the sand snake girl to straight hook up
- Jon Snow and Fat Sam finally make out
- Sansa stab Little Finger straight in the balls
- Margery comes back from the dead and gets the storyline she deserves
- Fat Sam to never be in another episode again- after he makes out with Jon Snow
- Tilda Swinton to punch Jon Snow in the face every time he stops being cool and starts being a whiny piece of shit again
- Davos kills scarlet witch with his own fingerless hands and we never hear about her or that whole Fire God storyline again
- Arya becomes an assassin for Khaleesi
- DRAAAAAGONS
- Best friend romps with Khaleesi and Tyrion
- Tyrion telling Lannister sis he's Khaleesi's hand (dude that will be AWESOME)
Some final stray thoughts, I definitely enjoyed the series more as it went on and it improved exponentially (nailed it!) in the last season, I've gone on and on about that so I'll just let that rest because you get the idea. I will say if something happens to Arya, I straight up will not watch the show, there would be no point for me, she is far and away my favorite character. The cinematography was a lot better than previous seasons and more stuff stuck out to me this time when watching, though I'm not sure if I found it better than Fargo (that's the Colleen gold standard) but maybe I feel that way because I've literally watched Fargo 3 times. Anyways, all these videos I've posted in here are scenes I liked for one reason or another. Maybe it made me laugh, maybe I thought it was beautiful, sometimes it's a bit of both. Those are just moments I really enjoyed and wanted to share. I did end up really enjoying the show and will continue watching when season 7 starts, I just wish they veered away from the books sooner because I feel like that's when the shit started crackalackin' but veered they did and now they've got a new fan. :)
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Okay guys, that took forever and I'm looking forward to doing something a lot smaller so next I'm going to watch/write about Stranger Things. I've heard great things and have been told by several different people that I would enjoy but I literally know nothing about the plot. I think it's 80's-ish and kinda sci-fi-y/alien-y or something but it sounds great and it's only 8 episodes so SIGN ME UP! Hopefully I can get back to weekly posts again :) YAY
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