Captain America: Most likely gone forever, but never from my heart

I know I typically write about TV shows but I got some (a lot!) of words and thoughts in my head about the upcoming Avengers movie and guess what, my blog can be what I want it to be, and right now it's going to be a half wine-drunk rant about how much I love Captain America (because I doooo!!)

BUT FIRST.... lets go back to the beginning....

Buckle up bitches, mamas drunk and talking about Cap again

...a million years ago it seems like I saw my first Marvel movie. It was Captain America: The First Avenger. Iron Man, Iron Man 2, Incredible Hulk, and Thor had all already come out, this was the last movie before the Avengers, and the first I had even heard about any of this craziness going on. I was dating a guy at the time who turned out to be just a grade A terrible human being and a liar but he was obsessed with comics and comic book movies. Being that I am me and I am a d-bag about everything, I was adamant about not watching this lame "Super Murrica" movie (in my defense, he made me watch Green Lantern). He kept going on and on about how it was part of "Phase 1" with a bunch of other movies and it was all leading up to this movie where they all collaborate together and it was going to be quite a thing. Well, as I've previously stated, I have always been a d-bag and he was also a liar, so I pretty much told him that 1) DC was better and Marvel was dumb since they ruined my precious Spiderman with Spiderman 3 and 2) I did not believe him. WELL GUYS as per usual, I'm here to eat crow.

That's not going away any time soon

We went to our usual movie place, which was the $2 Danberry cinemas where the old Biggs was in Eastgate (aka Jungle Jims, I'm just trying to show you guys I haven't forgotten my roots) and I sat there standoff-ish and a little confused because if this movie is taking place in 1945, how the fuck is he going to meet up in present day? So two important things happened in my movie experience- one, the cheap ass movie theater fucked up a pretty key part of the movie so one minute I see Captain crashing into the ice and then the next he's just in present day Times Square (had to mentally fill in the blanks with that one) and the second important thing was I sobbed. Thus starting a beautiful tradition where I cry every single time I watch any Captain America movie. Winter Soldier? Civil War? Every time. And I'm not sure you guys realize how often I rewatch these movies... and yet I always sob.

ME every fucking time I watch a Captain America movie

I thought Captain America, Steve Rogers, was going to be some obnoxious goody two shoes brown noser. He is, but he isn't. He's not gritty and moody, he's not flashy or sarcastic- though he would be well within his rights to be any of those things. He's a man out of time, trying to figure out what this new world is, who he is, and where he fits in it but most importantly, he's just a good person. And just by being around him, makes you a better person too. Think about it, out of all the Avengers, who has the best "support system"? Sure Tony has Happy, but he also has Pepper Potts. Steve has Bucky, and Sam, and Peggy (and I guess Sharon, but no one's perfect, not even Cap). And he has his ideals and he sticks to them which is something we should all admire. He doesn't quit when things get hard. He makes those hard choices, he trusts his gut. All the different attempts to replicate the super soldier serum never worked, it only worked on him, and that's because he's one of a kind. He fights for the little guy, even when he was the little guy, because that's what's RIGHT. He didn't have to almost die in a cave in Afghanistan to realize it, he wasn't banished from his home until he is worthy of coming back- he was good at the start and stayed that way. And nothing could ever sway him, not even an elevator full of H.Y.D.R.A agents. And he's so important to the MCU, he provides balance to all sarcastic arrogant male leads the MCU has nowadays by being the one character that DOESN'T have to have the last little quip. Plus he has the best fight scenes in all the movies, hands down, no question about it whatsoever. Where else can you see a man literally stop a helicopter with his bare hands?? Maybe some of you think his moral compass and his anti-bullying stance is boring or dull or preachy and you like Tony's flash with a zinger for every moment, and that's fine. I like Steve's earnestness and I really like how Chris plays him. He's not saccharine or over the top, he's the LOU SOLVERSON of the MCU (and there can be no higher compliment from me!)!!! You know, sometimes I just need to watch a movie and not feel like the whole world is utter and complete dumpster fire, and Steve's optimism gives me hope that it can get better!

and every day, right......? RIGHT??

I'm saying all of this to you tonight, or whenever you are reading this, because Captain's time is up. I hate to say it but I don't think he's going to make it through this next one guys. Tony, Thor, the other guys- they might not make it too, but Steve he's a goner fo sho. I'm not saying this because I want it to happen, I don't!! Steve is going to feel responsible (and is arguably the least responsible- looking at you Thor and Starlord!) because of the events in Civil War. If he and Tony were buds, they could've stopped this together. This of course is just survivors guilt. But Cap is the kinda guy that bears this responsibility on his shoulders. I suppose all of the Avengers feel this way to an extent but as the defacto leader, Cap bears the brunt of this responsibility.  He may be super strong from the super soldier serum, but his real super power is his heart (*cue the eye rolling, I don't care- it's true dammit*). And so whatever plan they scheme up with, some sort of sacrifice is going to come into play. Similarly to how Thanos had to sacrifice someone he loved (Gamora), Cap is going to sacrifice himself to bring everyone back and this time it'll be permanent. Also, Chris Evans's movie contract is up and mums the word on him reupping it.

Chris Evans seen here not reupping his contract and thinking no one will notice

I wanted to put down a few words of how much Captain has meant to me and how much better the Marvel Cinematic Universe is because he's in it. How he's the reason I'm this insane person rewatching these movies over and over again, trying to figure out how it's going to end-end in Endgame. How much the MCU is going to lose without it's moral compass and overall best guy. How much we, a nation- nay, a world!, are going to lose when Cap hangs up his shield for good

DAMMIT STEVE whyyyyyyyy

So all that being said, let me leave you with this:

I'll miss you biceps, and everything that is attached to you.

Thank you Stan Lee and thank you Chris Evans. Now Avengers, assemble!